What’s My Name Again?

Hello, my name is Depression. My name is 30 minutes of hysterical tears on the kitchen floor before work. It’s “Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.”  It’s barely being able to stand upright because of exhaustion.

Hello, my name is Anxiety. My name is 3 hours in the ER to discover I’m NOT having a heart attack. It’s muscle spasms after a day of clenching my teeth. It’s folding like a $2 suitcase when voices are raised around me.

Hello, my name is Therapy. My name is 45 minutes of sobbing and choking. It’s words tripping over themselves because I can finally speak. It’s coming to terms with an ending.

Hello, my name is Medication. My name is breathing easier. It’s feeling like me.

It’s plateauing and not working anymore.

Hello, my name is Relapse. My name is sleeping too much. It’s slogging through the motions. It’s inappropriate emotional outlets to escape.

Hello, my name is Rock Bottom. My name is overspending. It’s 6 days straight without a shower or a real meal. It’s the deathwish I don’t act on.

Hello, my name is ADHD. My name is mini-blackouts. It’s completely unfocused. It’s translating from Gibberish to English and still not understanding a word you said.

Hello, my name is Therapy Again. My name is open floodgates. It’s mood swings on new meds. It’s beings sick of my own shit.

Hello, my name is Recovery. My name is learning to trust myself again. It’s breaking through old patterns and behaviors. It’s learning to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Hello, my name is Maybe I’m Not Hard to Love.

Hello, my name is Maybe It’s Not All My Fault.

Hello, my name is Maybe I Really Will Be OK.

Hello?

Hello, my name is….

 

*This post is part of a blog hop, theme: Identity. Please take a look at some of the other authors who also participated:

Becoming Myself by Jacey Rogel
A Reintroduction by Kristin Rouse
personas. by Eunice Brownlee
A Rose by Any Other Name Would Not Be Me by Mia Sutton
Shifting Identity by Sarah Hartley
Discovering Identity by Mala Kennedy
The Identity You’re Given by Liz Russell
Dinosaurs and Unicorns by Jenn Norrell

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